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What Do You Really, Truly Want?4 Min Read

What Do You Really, Truly Want?4 min read


Well, you could want a lot of things in your life, right?

But, in your business, don’t you ultimately want to make a difference with the people you work with?

And to make a difference you need to take action, right?

Actions in working with your clients, but also actions in attracting new clients.

The first is relatively easy… if you have clients to work with.

But the second is relatively difficult – attracting new clients.


It’s difficult because you have certain beliefs and fears that prevent you from taking actions to attract new clients.

But where do those beliefs come from?

Well, they come from your sense of self, from your personal identity.

You think of yourself as a person who does certain things and doesn’t do other things.

And we always act consistently with who we think we are.

For instance, you don’t lie cheat, and steal in your business, do you?

And you probably work hard with your clients to give them value, right?

So, it only makes sense that if you don’t work at attracting new clients it’s because you don’t think of yourself as someone who does that.

Perhaps you believe that if you do good work, you’ll be referred to other clients.

Or you think that if you make attempts to attract new clients that it will make you look needy, even desperate.

But what is driving beliefs like that?

The most common ones I’ve discovered include:

I’m not good enough at what I do.

I’m an imposter. What I offer isn’t really valuable.

I don’t want to be rejected.

I don’t want to bother or interrupt people.

It’s useful to realize that you don’t “think” these kinds of beliefs.

No, instead, they think you.

And they are ultimately expressed in identities that are aligned with those beliefs.

Those identities consist of a number of stories that keep you comfortable.

Look, some stories are useful. Wanting to make a difference is a story that can get you somewhere.

But a story that keeps you from reaching out and communicating about your business is a story that gets you nowhere.

The big question is, can you change your story or let go of your story?

The answer is no. If you could have, you would have done it by now.

You are locked into a pattern of beliefs, fears, stories, and identities that feel very comfortable, very safe.

And the chances are good that you’ll be living and acting out those stories for the rest of your life.

For something to change, you need to see something, realize something deeply that is outside of your everyday beliefs and stories.

You need to realize who you really are.

But first, you need to start with who you are not.

You are not your beliefs, fears, limitations, stories, and identities that prevent you from taking action.

Start with just one.

Pick one belief/fear/limitation/story/identity that pops up every time you think of taking action to get the word out about your business, but that you ultimately avoid.

And then ask a very simple, but profound question:

“If this belief/fear/limitation/story/identity is not who I really am, who would I be without this belief/fear/limitation/story/identity?”

The answer to that question may be the light at the end of the tunnel for you.

If you ask that question as honestly as possible and look at who you would be without that belief/fear/limitation/story/identity you might notice its grip on you lessening.

You’ll know if you find yourself taking actions that you wouldn’t before.

As someone said a long time ago: “You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.”

They didn’t say, “Notice your limiting habits and try and change them.”

How well has that really worked out for you?

No, take a close, honest, dispassionate look at your belief/fear/limitation/story/identity and see that it has nothing to do with who you really are.

Who you are can move mountains.

Your belief/fear/limitation/story/identity is only interested in staying small, comfortable, and safe.

But YOU are so MUCH MORE than that.

Cheers, Robert


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