Goal Setting Frustration4 min read
This morning, as I was preparing to write my newsletter article, I got my weekly copy of Matt Furey’s newsletter and I thought, “I can’t do much better than this today!”
So, I decided to send it out to you. Enjoy. These are very powerful ideas about setting goals and completely true in my experience.
Goal Setting Frustration
Someone once asked me, “Where do you want to be in 20 years?”
“Twenty years?” I replied. “Are you serious? How about asking me where I see myself at the end of today?”
There’s a fundamental disconnect in goal setting that leads to deep frustration, fear and self-doubt. This disconnect unwittingly teaches you to be miserable until you reach a certain milestone.
Once you reach that milestone, THEN you can be happy.
Sorry, but happiness doesn’t work that way.
Happiness is something you practice on the way to your goal. There is no goal that, once achieved, will install happiness as a habit.
Setting a bunch of long-range targets is a waste of time for almost everyone who does it. After a year or two, when you notice that none of your targets are being reached, you not only lose interest in the goals you set, but you begin to think that you’re a failure when it comes to goal setting.
If this scenario looks and feels familiar, it’s not your fault. You failed because you were playing in a rigged game with the wrong system.
The game sounds great, but it’s rigged because your chances of having the same goals for 20 years are about as slim as Minnesota Fats.
Yes, there is a much better way to set and achieve goals. There’s a much easier arena for you to play in – and WIN.
And it has nothing to do with imposing a new set of beliefs upon yourself.
It has nothing to do with figuring out what your negative thoughts are, or devising a strategy to make all of them positive.
It has nothing to do with thinking big or setting goals that scare you.
It has nothing to do with the ridiculous maxim of getting out of your comfort zone. Do you really think that a star athlete who is “in the zone” is uncomfortable? Hell no. He’s in the comfort zone – and that’s why he’s playing so well.
Additionally, this way of setting and achieving goals has nothing to do with the concept of taking MASSIVE ACTION.
Yes, I am serious.
I’ll go so far as to say there is no such thing as massive action. It’s a myth.
Look at reality.
You only get one breath at a time. You only get to take one step at a time. You only get to live one second at a time.
Color reality massive all you want – but this only causes more fast-twitch anxiety, nervousness and frustration.
Here’s something you may not have realized, even if you’ve read Dr. Maxwell Maltz’s classic best-seller, Psycho-Cybernetics, numerous times. None of the concepts I blasted above, were favorably mentioned in his book.
(Note: Matt Furey is an expert on Maltz and Psycho-Cybernetics and issued an edition of his book with additional material. It’s excellent.)
If you think that Dr. Maltz wrote about the importance of getting out of your comfort zone or taking massive action, then please send me the passage so I can make a correction. But the fact is you aren’t going to find those passages.
Nor will you find Dr. Maltz telling you to think big or to set goals that scare you.
This explains why, when I begin coaching new clients, I usually have to help them rewind their minds, to go back to the time before they began swallowing the gobbledegook. I help them go back to a time when they were succeeding without thinking too much about it.
You’ll be far better off focusing on what you can control in the here and now. What goal can you accomplish TODAY?
In short, if you’re not able to focus on and achieve a daily goal, you’re not ready for a bigger, scarier goal with a longer time frame.
Prove to yourself that you can focus on something today – and make it happen. Achieve one new goal every day for a year, and I’ll bet you will have run a hundred laps around those with the big, scary goals who can’t get themselves off the sofa; or those who go into each day frightened and worried that they might fail.
On a daily basis, give yourself the experience that you are WINNING.
When winning becomes a daily habit, it becomes a long-term reality.
The same can be said about losing.
In order to establish momentum in a positive direction, you need daily feedback that shows you that you’re making something good happen in your life. This isn’t happening with the long-term goals.
Focus on the achievements in the NOW and you’ll make people look up and say WOW!
– Matt Furey
I encourage you to dive more deeply into Matt’s work, visit his website and subscribe to his newsletter. I’ve always found his ideas practical and applicable.