Dealing with the Despair of Yesterday’s Loss4 min read
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After the very disappointing (for me) election loss of Kamala Harris and the win of Donald Trump last night, I was feeling some despair. But not being the despairing type, I called on my league of wise counselors, and an ageless stoic, Marcus, appeared to talk me through my disappointment.
You’re welcome to listen in…
Robert: (sighs) I can’t believe it. All that work, all that hope… and we lost. I thought we were fighting for something that mattered, something that could change things. I feel like someone just put a big rock on my chest.
Marcus: Ah, the weight of disappointment—familiar territory, my friend. But consider: is this loss truly an unbearable weight, or have you simply convinced yourself that it’s so?
Robert: Are you kidding? Of course, it’s unbearable! I poured my heart into this. We all did! It’s like someone yanked the rug out from under us. You’d feel the same if it mattered to you.
Marcus: (chuckles) You’d be surprised, Robert. I’ve seen empires rise and fall, and watched fools and tyrants claim victory over reason and justice. The sting you feel—it’s proof that you care deeply. But the pain of a broken heart can be more instructive than the pleasure of a triumphant one.
Robert: (grumbling) Well, that’s easy to say. You stoics make everything sound like a “learning experience.” What am I supposed to learn here? How to lose gracefully?
Marcus: (grins) Maybe! But let’s go deeper. What if I told you this pain is an invitation—a call to strengthen the virtues you already admire in Kamala? Courage, perseverance, the dedication to build up and cooperate. Now, the choice is yours: to let disappointment lead you to despair, or to let it kindle a sharper resolve.
Robert: So I’m just supposed to “sharpen my resolve” and go on, like nothing happened?
Marcus: (smiling) Oh, no, Robert. You can mourn. Mourn! This sadness is yours, after all. Feel it deeply, but don’t let it own you. It’s a visitor, not a squatter. Remember, the depth of your sadness is a measure of your love and hope. Honor that, but also know that sorrow’s work is to remind you what you truly value.
Robert: (pauses, thinking) Okay… I get that. I do value these things. But it’s hard not to feel like the universe just slapped me in the face. I mean, look around! So much negativity, so much division. And we’re supposed to just… endure it?
Marcus: Ah, but Robert, you say the word “endure” as if it were a dirty word! Endurance is our armor. True endurance isn’t passive; it’s a fierce act of defiance. Each time you choose to keep building, to keep loving, to keep cooperating, you’re shouting back at the darkness, saying, “I will not be diminished.” And here’s the kicker—losses sharpen us for the next fight, if we let them.
Robert: (sighs) But it still feels unfair, you know? Like, why do the people who stand for good always seem to have the hardest battles?
Marcus: Unfair? Maybe. But have you considered that adversity is the finest test of integrity? No one admires a fair-weather soldier. You, Kamala, everyone who stood by her—you are warriors for the good, not because it’s easy, but because it’s right. Tell me, if justice were simple, if kindness always won instantly, would you even need courage?
Robert: (smiling reluctantly) No, I guess not. But, Marcus… can’t I still just be mad about it for a little while?
Marcus: (laughing) Please, be as mad as you like! I’ll wait right here until you’re ready to laugh at the absurdity of it all. Just remember, disappointment and anger—they’re like visitors who pop in unannounced. You don’t have to kick them out right away, but also don’t let them redecorate the place.
Robert: (laughs) I see. So I’m allowed to stew a little, then pick myself up?
Marcus: Absolutely. And when you do pick yourself up, remember this: the pain of loss only feels personal, but in truth, it’s a shared fire. Every defeat reminds us that we’re still in the game—that we’re still fighting for something worth losing sleep over. Isn’t that a gift in itself?
Robert: (smiling with a hint of admiration) I never thought I’d call losing a gift, but… maybe there’s something there.
Marcus: Precisely, Robert! Let the fire of disappointment turn you into a brighter torch for others. You don’t lose when the results go against you. You lose when you let the results dictate who you’ll be. And from what I see, there’s a lot more for you to be yet.
Robert: (grins) Alright, Marcus, you’ve made your point. I’ll feel this, but I won’t wallow. Maybe I’ll even… endure it with a touch of grace. You reminded me of a quote by Robert Carlyle: “Endurance is patience concentrated.”
Marcus: (smiling warmly) That’s the spirit.
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