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A Counter-Intuitive Way To Get Unstuck4 Min Read

A Counter-Intuitive Way to Get Unstuck4 min read


I’ve noticed that some of my clients have great marketing energy. And others don’t.

Marketing energy is displayed when you are in the flow of marketing, making plans, creating materials, getting out there and having fun connecting with others and sharing your business.

I’m working with several clients right now who are just tearing things up, coming up with great ideas, taking consistent action and envisioning exciting possibilities.

Marketing stagnancy occurs when nothing excites you, and you hold back, can’t come up with creative ideas, complain that things are difficult and feel more like hiding than getting out there.

And a few of my clients are stuck and bogged down in this way, unsure what to do next and hesitant to take bold action to make vital connections.

Why do these differences occur?

People in the first category are thinking differently than people in the second. They could both be in very similar circumstances with similar services, skills and opportunities.

But how are they thinking differently? Let’s take a look:

Category One


Seeing opportunities



Category Two


Seeing pitfalls



You get the idea. But do you also realize how absolutely useless this information is? You just can’t tell people in category number two to be more like people in category number one!

This principle also applies to beliefs.

People in category number one believe they can make things work.

People in category number two believe they can’t.

And that doesn’t help much either, does it?

“What’s so hard? Just change beliefs!” people in category one say. And people in number two reply, “If we could easily change our beliefs, don’t you think we would?!”

In order for people in category two to shift, they need a different approach. This approach needs to be gentle, respectful, non-judgmental — these words apply whether you are trying to make that shift yourself or assisting someone else in making it.

What I’ve noticed, both for myself and from my clients, is that although we may be stuck in some kind of resistant, fearful thinking, we don’t want to be there. We do want to get past it and have our creativity and resourcefulness kick in. In other words, we resist the stuckness.

What we don’t realize is that this is often a bigger problem than the negative attitude itself.

Yes, not wanting to be stuck can be more of a problem than the stuckness itself.

Why? Because we are fighting against reality.

When you’re stuck, fearful, resistant and negative, that is exactly how you are in the moment, right? You are what you are. And what is, is what is.

Resisting that only makes things worse and usually more painful.

The shift can be subtle.

For example, consider the difference between saying to yourself:

“I’m stuck and nothing is working. And I hate that and want things to change.”


“I’m stuck and nothing is working. And that’s the way it is right now.”

The first response is pretty common. Resistance seems like the right thing to do.

The second response is counter-intuitive. But it’s a lot smarter.

Because things change anyway. Downs transform into ups and ups turn into downs. There is no permanent state of unstuckness and positive, expansive energy.

These days, when I’m feeling stuck and resistant, I just stop and look. I notice my thoughts and my feelings. I don’t resist the resistance.

Being aware has no resistance. It just is. And within awareness, I can allow anything: moods, attitudes, fears, and stuckness.

And without struggle or effort, I notice that the stuckness simply starts to dissipate and move on. I’m left with awareness,  without resistance and with space for new possibilities.

Give this counterintuitive strategy a try. The next time you are caught up in feeling stuck, be aware and notice the stuckness is simply what is right now. No judgment, no resistance.

And then notice if you feel a little more peaceful and relaxed.

And without trying to “make something happen” notice what does happen. It may surprise you.

Cheers, Robert


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